Eye Direction and Lying

Can the direction a person's eyes reveal whether or not they are making a truthful statement? Short answer: sort of. But, it isn't as simple as some recent television shows or movies make it seem. In these shows a detective will deduce a person is being untruthful simply because they looked to the left or right while making a statement.

In reality, it would be foolish to make such a snap judgment without further investigation... but the technique does have some merit. So, here it is... read, ponder and test it on your friends and family to see how reliable it is for yourself.

Visual Accessing Cues

The first time "Visual Accessing Cues" were discussed (at least to my knowledge), was by Richard Bandler and John Grinder in their book "Frogs into Princes: Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) " From their experiments this is what they found:

When asked a question a "normally organized" right-handed person looks (from your viewpoint, looking at them):

Up and to the Left
Indicates: Visually Constructed Images (Vc)
If you asked someone to "Imagine a purple buffalo", this would be the direction their eyes moved in while thinking about the question as they "Visually Constructed" a purple buffalo in their mind.

Up and to the Right
Indicates: Visually Remembered Images (Vr)
If you asked someone to "What color was the first house you lived in?", this would be the direction their eyes moved in while thinking about the question as they "Visually Remembered" the color of their childhood home.

To the Left
Indicates: Auditory Constructed (Ac)
If you asked someone to "Try and create the highest the sound of the pitch possible in your head", this would be the direction their eyes moved in while thinking about the question as they "Auditorily Constructed" this this sound that they have never heard of.

To the Right
Indicates: Auditory Remembered (Ar)
If you asked someone to "Remember what their mother's voice sounds like ", this would be the direction their eyes moved in while thinking about the question as they "Auditorily Remembered " this sound.

Down and to the Left
Indicates: Feeling / Kinesthetic (F)
If you asked someone to "Can you remember the smell of a campfire? ", this would be the direction their eyes moved in while thinking about the question as they used recalled a smell, feeling, or taste.

Down and To the Right
Indicates: Internal Dialog (Ai)
This is the direction of someone eyes as they "talk to themselves".

The Gist of it...

How this information is used to detect lies:

Example: Let's say your child ask's you for a cookie, and you ask them "well, what did your mother say?" As they reply "Mom said... yes." they look to the left. This would indicate a made up answer as their eyes are showing a "constructed image or sound. Looking to the right would indicated a "remembered" voice or image, and thus would be telling the truth.

Final Notes:

*** Looking straight ahead or with eyes that are defocused/unmoving is also considered a sign of visual accessing.

*** A typical left-handed person would have the opposite meanings for their eye-directions.

*** As with other signs of lying, you should first establish and understand a persons base-behavior before concluding they are lying by the direction of their eyes.

*** Many critics believe the above is a bunch of bull***t. In my own experiments I have found these techniques to be more true than not. But, why not find out for yourself? Make up a list of questions that like the sample ones, and give them to your friends/family anyone who would be your guinea pig, observe their eye movements and record the results.

How to Detect Lies

Warning: Sometimes Ignorance is bliss; after gaining this knowledge, you may be hurt when it is obvious that someone is lying to you.

The following techniques to telling if someone is lying are often used by police, and security experts. This knowledge is also useful for managers, employers, and for anyone to use in everyday situations where telling the truth from a lie can help prevent you from being a victim of fraud/scams and other deceptions.

Body Language of Lies:

• Physical expression will be limited and stiff, with few arm and hand movements. Hand, arm and leg movement are toward their own body the liar takes up less space.

• A person who is lying to you will avoid making eye contact.

• Hands touching their face, throat & mouth. Touching or scratching the nose or behind their ear. Not likely to touch his chest/heart with an open hand.

Emotional Gestures & Contradiction

• Timing and duration of emotional gestures and emotions are off a normal pace. The display of emotion is delayed, stays longer it would naturally, then stops suddenly.

• Timing is off between emotions gestures/expressions and words. Example: Someone says "I love it!" when receiving a gift, and then smile after making that statement, rather then at the same time the statement is made.

• Gestures/expressions don’t match the verbal statement, such as frowning when saying “I love you.”

• Expressions are limited to mouth movements when someone is faking emotions (like happy, surprised, sad, awe, )instead of the whole face. For example; when someone smiles naturally their whole face is involved: jaw/cheek movement, eyes and forehead push down, etc.

Interactions and Reactions

• A guilty person gets defensive. An innocent person will often go on the offensive.

• A liar is uncomfortable facing his questioner/accuser and may turn his head or body away.

• A liar might unconsciously place objects (book, coffee cup, etc.) between themselves and you.

Verbal Context and Content

• A liar will use your words to make answer a question. When asked, “Did you eat the last cookie?” The liar answers, “No, I did not eat the last cookie.”

•A statement with a contraction is more likely to be truthful: “ I didn't do it” instead of “I did not do it”

• Liars sometimes avoid "lying" by not making direct statements. They imply answers instead of denying something directly.

• The guilty person may speak more than natural, adding unnecessary details to convince you... they are not comfortable with silence or pauses in the conversation.

• A liar may leave out pronouns and speak in a monotonous tone. When a truthful statement is made the pronoun is emphasized as much or more than the rest of the words in a statement.

• Words may be garbled and spoken softly, and syntax and grammar may be off. In other
words, his sentences will likely be muddled rather than emphasized.

Other signs of a lie:

• If you believe someone is lying, then change subject of a conversation quickly, a liar follows along willingly and becomes more relaxed. The guilty wants the subject changed; an innocent person may be confused by the sudden change in topics and will want to back to the previous subject.

• Using humor or sarcasm to avoid a subject.

Final Notes:

Obviously, just because someone exhibits one or more of these signs does not make them a liar. The above behaviors should be compared to a persons base (normal) behavior whenever possible.

Most lie detecting experts agree that a combination of body language and other cues must be used to make an educated guess on whether someone is telling the truth or a lie.

Cara Kenali Psikopat di Tempat Kerja

Hongkong (ANTARA News) - Dr. John Clarke, yang bertahun-tahun menjadi psikolog kriminal, mengingat hari di mana dia seketika sadar bahwa mungkin ada sejumlah psikopat di jutaan kantor di seluruh dunia.

"Saya sedang menyampaikan kuliah psikologi kejahatan dan memberikan daftar ciri psikopat. Saat selesai, seorang perempuan menghampiri dan berkata `anda baru saja menggambarkan bos saya`," katanya kepada Kantor Berita Jerman (DPA).

Clarke menemukan bahwa psikopat tidak hanya ada di penjara, di ruang sidang pengadilan, atau pada kisah "thriller".

Psikopat, baik laki-laki maupun perempuan, sedang berencana licik di tempat kerja, di seluruh dunia..

Penelitian menyatakan bahwa satu persen populasi orang dewasa yang bekerja adalah psikopat di tempat kerjanya.

Psikopat seperti itu ada di kantor besar maupun kecil, dia ada di ruang rapat dewan maupun di lantai-lantai toko.

Di sanalah, menurut Clarke, mereka bersembunyi; lewat berbohong, mencurangi, mencuri, mememanipulasi, mengorbankan dan menghancurkan para rekan kerja, serta kesemuanya tanpa rasa salah maupun penyesalan.

Lebih buruk lagi, ia menilaie, mereka yang disebut organisasional psikopat, berkembang pesat di dunia bisnis, di mana kezaliman dan nafsu mereka tidak saja mereka salah-artikan sebagai ambisi dan keterampilan memimpin, namun juga sebagai sesuatu yang dihargai melalui promosi, bonus dan kenaikan upah.

"Ambil contoh iklan lowongan kerja. Iklan itu, misalnya, menyebut `anda tahu anda adalah yang terbaik, anda mampu mempengaruhi orang, apapun akan anda lakukan untuk memenangkan organisasi`. Ini jenis pernyataan yang menarik bagi banyak orang, teristimewa lagi untuk psikopat," katanya.

Ia menimpali, "Organisasi yang memasang iklan seperti ini, secara tidak langsung mengundang psikopat untuk melamar kerja."

Dalam wawancara rekrutmen, psikopat tampil mempersona sebagai orang yang cocok untuk lowongan itu.

"Mereka adalah pembicara yang sangat bagus dan kadang mengarang riwayat hidupnya, sehingga pewawancara terperdaya. Mereka terlihat mempersona, cerdas dan piawai, tapi jika anda sedikit saja gali lebih dalam, anda akan tahu seperti apa mereka sebenarnya," kata Clarke.

Psikopat tempat kerja akan melakukan apa saja untuk mendapatkan kekuasaan, status dan upah yang mereka inginkan.

"Mereka berpikir layaknya psikopat kriminal. Mereka berusaha sekeras-kerasnya demi mereka sendiri. Perbedaan keduanya adalah, psikopat kriminal menghancurkan korban secara fisik, sedangkan psikopat tempat kerja menghancurkan korbannya secara psikologis," ujarnya.

Clarke yang bergelar doktor (PhD) di bidang psikologi dari "University of Sydney", Australia, adalah penulis buku "The Pocket Pscyho" yang belum lama terbit.

Buku itu adalah panduan sintas bagaimana melindungi diri dari psikopat organisasional.

Menurut Clarke, psikopat tempat kerja dapat diketahui dari pola perilaku dan ciri kepribadian di bawah ini:

1. Tanpa dosa. Psikopat tempat kerja tidak menyesali berapapun yang mereka jadikan korban, mereka tusuk dari belakang atau yang hasil kerjanya mereka curi. Mempersulit orang lain dengan berbagai cara seakan tidak rela orang lain mendapatkan kemudahan dan mengambil banyak keuntungan untuk kepentingan pribadinya.

2. Mempesona. Mereka adalah pembicara yang sangat bagus. Mereka lebih suka berhadapan empat mata dan menghindari rapat kelompok.

3. Manipulatif. Mereka membengkokkan sistem maupun aturan perusahaan untuk kepentingan sendiri. Mereka memangsa berbagai kelemahan orang, khususnya yang kurang percaya diri.

4. Parasitis. Mereka mencari penghargaan dari hasil kerja orang lain.

5. Pembohong yang patologis. Psikopat tempat kerja bukan pembohong ulung. Namun, jika mereka ketahuan, mereka dapat berdalih untuk menemukan selamat.

6. Tak menentu. Psikopat hanya punya emosi pokok (senang, sedih, marah). Pergantian antar emosi terjadi sangat cepat, semenit senang, semenit kemudian marah lalu semenit selanjutnya sedih.

Psikopat tempat kerja mencari pertemanan dengan orang yang punya kedudukan lebih tinggi agar dapat melindungi mereka.

Mereka akan merongrong sekaligus berteman dengan bos dan berusaha meniti kedudukan di perusahaan.

Mereka yang diincar psikopat akan menerima akibat yang menghancurkan.

"Mereka merampas keyakinan diri maupun rasa mampu seseorang. Mereka menghilangkan rasa percaya orang terhadap orang lain. Korban menjadi dingin, sinis, getir dan hampir tak mampu bekerja," ujarnya menegaskan.

Clarke mengatakan, ada dua senjata yang bisa dipakai untuk melindungi diri dari mereka yaitu: pendidikan dan kerjasama tim.

"Jika anda mendidik diri sendiri hingga tahu mengapa orang tersebut bertindak demikian, maka hal ini akan menghentikan siklus menyalahkan diri-sendiri dan rasa terasing dari korban," katanya.

Ia melanjutkan, "Hal kedua ialah membangun tim dan kerjasama tim. Anda harus berbicara kepada orang lain, dan mengatakan apa yang terjadi. Jika psikopat tidak dapat mengasingkan anda, maka mereka tidak dapat menghancurkan anda."

Dalam situasi di mana majikan tidak bertindak, maka Clarke menyarankan, korban sebaiknya pindah kerja. Mengapa? Oleh karena, korban tidak bisa mengubah seorang psikopat, dan proses rehabilitasi hanya akan memperparah mereka.

"Mereka tidak peduli. Mereka tidak berpikir dirinya adalah psikopat. Mereka tidak berpikir apa yang sedang dilakukan adalah salah. Mereka hanya berpikir dirinya pintar, dan jika semua orang secerdas mereka, semuanya pun akan melakukan hal serupa," katanya.

Akhirnya, Clarke pun berpesan: "Saat anda merehabilitasikan mereka, berarti anda mengajarkan keterampilan sosial kepada mereka, dan menunjukkan bagaimana cara berurusan secara pantas terhadap orang lain. Mereka akan menggunakan
keterampilan sosial itu untuk makin memanipulasi orang."

COPYRIGHT © 2007 ANTARA

PubDate: 26/03/07 04:30

Being 20 something is (not) hard...

Most of my friends feels that somehow the hardest age that we have ever have is 20 something (i mean before 30), why ? well let say in this age, we have done such as:

1. We have graduated from "boring" college
2. We have made our own money by working day by day, stress at work is a usual part of our life
3. We "know" who we are (even we still missing small part of our self)
4. We found our "love of our life"

in this circumstances, we are allowed (or let say we can afford) to do everything that make us happy. and we think that we deserved for this after the long period of miserable moments at college.

The most annoying thing is that our family started to asking about the marriage. Ok dont put all the eggs on them, because the only thing they know is in their phase life, it supposed to have a grandchild. But once again, this is our own life, and just us. They can not even understand and feel the way we feel about this kind of marriage things. At the time we disapointed about our self because of the unreadiness of having the new life, what they only can do just say "be patient..".

well, i think if we can just thinking that marriage is not the only way to satisfy your parents and family. we can just enjoy our life in this 20 something, meanwhile preparing our self to enter the gate of "having my own family" things. Coz there will be no "Love and flowers" in marriage like we used to have with our boy/girl friend. It will be just "money talk" in marriage, and how we manage and get our emotion stabilized by let our ego go and replaced by "our own family".

The marriage supposed to be a "want" moments, not "must" moment and not "because of" moment. We only have our 20 something once in life, and dont bother to ruin it down at the beginning of this phase. Prepare your self with better carreer or something that is you passion with, before you let thus all gone replaced by "family" stuff and requirements.

At the time you "want" to marry someone, you will smile as it supposed to be, since everything is well prepared. Inside and outside..

-Just what i thougt about marriage, since i see most of my girl friends are panic and worry about her ages and get marry in rush eventually-

Pilates: Balance your posture & more healthy

Our daily life are currently fulfilled with activities that does not require much of movements. Sitting at desk, car, or waiting, all of these activities has minimize the function from which our body was designed. Which could led to imbalance in our movement.

The term Movement of Balance refers to the perfect, healthy function of our body, which can be achieve by doing Pilates. Pilates is a powerful mind-body-spirit exercise that can re-teach the body how to use it according to the natural function.

Within the exercise, through our senses, nerves, and brain we will conduct movements which automatically switch on every cells on our body. Which is why pilates is a mind exercise, it requires full concentration.

Pilates movement focuses on core muscles, and back muscles. The whole movement itselves will strengthens every muscles in our body. Through every pilates movement, body posture will be maintained as healthy as possible. With consistent exercise these posture can be maintained throughout daily life.

In Pilates, breathing are just as important as moving. A healthy, deep breath that are practiced in pilates can reduce tension, stress, and give us calm feeling. Which is why Pilates is called a mind-body-spirit exercise.

Pilates is good for everyone. The founder of the exercise himself, Joseph H. Pilates, once said that these exercises are just like air, we need it. Also, some people will get more advantage from Pilates:

• People with back and neck problem
• People with neck and shoulder tension
• People with poor posture (scoliosis, lordosis, kyphosis)
• People that just want to life a more healthy lifestyle

Top 10 Foods That Increase Cancer Risk

About 1,444,920 new cases of cancer were expected to be diagnosed last year–while 559,650 people were expected to die from the disease, according to the American Cancer Society. That’s more than 1,500 people a day. What a startling statistic. In the book Cancer: 101 Solutions to a Preventable Epidemic (New Society Publishers, 2007) by Liz Armstrong et al, the No. 4 solution is “Eat a Healthy Diet.” Listed within are the 10 Foods and Drinks to Limit or Eliminate:

1. All charred food, which create heterocyclic aromatic amines, known carcinogens. Even dark toast is suspect.

2. Well-done red meat. Medium or rare is better, little or no red meat is best.

3. Sugar, both white and brown–which is simply white sugar with molasses added.

4. Heavily salted, smoked and pickled foods, which lead to higher rates of stomach cancer.

5. Sodas/soft drinks, which pose health risks, both for what they contain–sugar and various additives–and for what they replace in the diet–beverages and foods that provide vitamins, minerals and other nutrients.

6. French fries, chips and snack foods that contain trans fats.

7. Food and drink additives such as aspartame.

8. Excess alcohol.

9. Baked goods, for the acrylamide.

10. Farmed fish, which contains higher levels of toxins such as PCBs.

Support: Stop Deforestasi hutan hujan tropis

Deforestasi adalah salah satu penyebab utama dari perubahan iklim - dilihat dari 5 dari emisi gas rumah kaca (GRK), Indonesia menempati urutan ke 3 setelah China dan Amerika Serikat dalam rangking negara penyumbang GRK.

Indonesia kehilangan hutan lebih cepat dibandingkan dengan negara-negara pemilik hutan di dunia. Salah satu penyebab dari kehancuran dan tingginya emisi adalah alih fungsi dari pembukaan lahan gambut untuk perkebunan kelapa sawit yang menyimpan banyak karbon. Dengan membuka lahan, membakar dan menurunan fungsi dari hutan lahan gambut telah melepaskan 2 milyar ton karbon dioksida setiap tahunnya.

Seluruh pemerintahan di dunia dan kalangan industri harus melindungi hutan hujan tropis yang tersisa sebelum semuanya terlambat demi menyelamatkan iklim, masyarakat pemilik dan yang hidup di sekitar hutan serta keanekaragaman hayati.

Beberapa cara untuk menghentikannya:

1) Pelarangan pembalakan dan pengrusakan lahan gambut

Indonesia : Moratorium atau jeda sementara seluruh konversi hutan dan lahan gambut.


2) Membeli minyak kelapa sawit dari produksi perkebunan yang bertanggung jawab

Baik pemasok maupun pengguna minyak sawit harus menghentikan pembelian dari perusahaan yang tidak mendukung moratorium atau jeda sementara atas alih fungsi hutan dan lahan gambut.


3) Perjanjian Iklim Internasional

• Bagi negara-negara yang ingin mendapatkan dana dari perdagangan karbon, seperti Papua Nugini, harus bersungguh-sungguh menghentikan deforestasi pada tahun 2015. Mereka harus mengambil langkah nyata penghentian pembalakan ilegal dan merusak.
• Tahap lanjut Protokol Kyoto harus menghentikan deforestasi untuk mengurangi emisi global gas rumah kaca. Kami menuntut komitmen yang mengikat secara hukum dengan target dan karena waktu yang tegas.
• Proses dari Protokol Kyoto harus mengadopsi usulan Greenpeace berjudul ‘Forest for Climate’ guna melindungi hutan serta hak-hak dan penghidupan masyarakat adat.

Semoga Pemerintah Indonesia lebih berpikir logis untuk keselamatan lingkungan hidup dan tidak sekedar mementingkan kepentingan material individu saja.